I always wondered what the pull of those little vibrating toys was. I mean seriously... a vibrator can't kiss you until you're both gasping for breath. Vibrators don't know how to find that one... spot... that just drives you insane. Vibrators don't smell like hot, sweaty, just f*cked the h*ll out of you man. So what exactly is it about vibrators that keeps women coming back for more?
It's exactly this... vibrators aren't crazy!
I swear to God I can't count the number of times I've heard a guy complain that the reason they had to get rid of a gal was that she was crazy. Clingy... needy... insecure... jealous or just plain weird. So color me shocked when I ended up dating a guy exactly like that. Guys, don't think that women have cornered the market on any of those characteristics, and don't think that those things aren't just as big a turn-off in YOU!
I went out on a date with a guy... yes I met him over the internet. Not through one of the booty-call sites like uh... OurPlace (you know where I mean)... or anything like that, but through a legitimate dating site. Seemed like a nice guy. Interesting, funny, cute... so why not? We had dinner a couple weekends ago on a Sunday night.
The conversation was fabulous... who talks about autopsies at dinner? I'm not being facetious here, that kinda thing is right up my alley. No, I'm not psycho... I'm interested in forensics and forensic anthropology.
Anywho, back to the man. Funny as h*ll. Cuter in person than on his profile. Intelligent and can carry a conversation in a bucket. And at the end of the evening... kisses PERFECTLY. I mean... not trying to eat your face off, but just right and with enough passion that you're both breathing hard.
He took "No" for an answer, and we made plans for the next weekend.
We talked all week through texts, instant messages and the phone. Not so much that it was irritating, which it can be sooooo easily. So last weekend I headed up to his place after work.
By the time I got up there, we both knew that the waiting was over and that I was spending the night lol. It doesn't make me easy guys, it makes me aware of what I want!!
He spent some time showing off his favorite things and it was very cute. I love a guy who wants to share bits of himself with you. Beyond that... the sex was fabulous! FABULOUS! No details... just FABULOUS!
We went to dinner afterwards and had more of the same easy, funny conversation and a great meal. Then back to his place for some silliness (video games... yes I'm a dork) and more great sex. We fell asleep exhausted and actually slept well together. C'mon guys and gals... you know what I mean.
It can be very hard to sleep with someone. Forget about the sex... how we SLEEP together tells me a lot. We fell asleep wrapped around each other. During the night we migrated apart as we're both fairly restless sleepers, but always ended up back together again and just touching slightly in some way. Maybe it's a "chick thing". If it is, it's one of the only "chick things" I'll ever admit to lol.
Woke up the next morning (after some pretty graphic dreams!) and... you guessed it. More wonderful, hot, sweaty sex. LOVED IT. Lazed around in bed till 10 or so and then grabbed a shower (for which he joined me and we joked and played) and then off.
We talked Sunday night... Monday night... and then Tuesday night I went out to Tuesday Sushi, as I do EVERY week, with some friends from work. Had a couple of beers and was just at that happily-buzzed and all-I-want-to-do-is-sleep stage. Sent him a goodnight text when I got home.
When he asked if I would be up in 30 and online, I told him nope... that I was a bit drunk and goin to bed.
HERE is where this breaks down. HE FREAKED. I get a text that says "I see where your priorities are and they obviously don't include talking to me. Enjoy your drunkenness."
SERIOUSLY?! Dude we have been dating for TWO WEEKS! What in the WORLD makes you think that you have the right to all of my time already?
Guys... here's the thing...
If you are so insecure and/or so clingy/needy that you need to talk to a gal EVERY DAY, when you've been dating for such a short time and live two hours away... you might need to find a clingy/needy, insecure gal to go along with your psychoses. Seriously.
So... it's back to the old standby. Jeez... I should buy stock in Energizer the way this year is going. I started to wonder if maybe there's something wrong with me... I'm too picky or something... maybe I have unrealistic expectations... but I don't feel that wanting a guy who doesn't flip out on you through text messages just because you're skipping the conversation for an evening is too much to ask!
Dating in your 30s sucks! I'm not into casual sex... I need the friendship and feelings to go along with the mind-blowing orgasms. I'm not into replacing your mother or being your crutch, and I've already done the whole support-your-local-loser thing. I'm not looking for marriage... I just want a semi-normal, halfway-decent guy who doesn't have any major psychotic episodes, doesn't smoke and can stand on his own two feet if I decide to have a night out with the gals. Really... is that too much to ask?
At least the vibrator doesn't freak out when I put it away in the drawer for a day or two!
